What I did when my marriage ended
By Keith Hughs
In October 2022, my marriage had just ended, and I was regretful, confused, and feeling like I needed a life change. I’d dabbled with Buddhism a little in the past, just enough to know that meditation worked to put life’s stressors into perspective, but I’d engaged in meditation selfishly, meditating just long enough to feel better, then I’d go back to my normal habit of living life without a spiritual practice.
Letting go of Loneliness - wanting to change
I felt I needed to change my life because living like I had been living had only led me to loneliness and sadness. I saw a Meetup ad for a Kadampa Meditation Center in Tucson, and decided that this time I would commit fully to a Buddhist meditation practice and see if the results were different.
So, I started attending weekly meditation classes, and purchased and started reading the book Joyful Path of Good Fortune by Geshe Kelsang Gyatso. I also began attempting to develop a daily meditative practice. Within about three months I began experiencing less frustration with traffic, I felt more patience with the people in my life, and interestingly enough, I had lost almost all interest in what I’d call dark, negative podcasts, and streaming content.
Changing through the power of prayer
Up to that point, about 4 months into my effort, I was experiencing the mentioned benefits, but I was still essentially being selfish, meditating, praying, and reading Buddhist books to benefit myself. And then, I was diagnosed with a serious medical condition that required extensive treatment.
I was scared, but by then I’d discovered the power of prayer, through practices like Medicine Buddha, and Buddha Amitayus, and I began attempting to engage in these prayers. Initially my thought was to benefit myself, but along the way I became aware of the limitations of my extreme self-centeredness and began to understand that the true intention of Dharma practice, Buddha’s teachings, is to liberate all living beings from the cycle of suffering, samsara, not simply benefiting oneself. At that point, my practice deepened to include effort to cherish others.
I’m finding that the initial benefits of increased patience and kindness are still there and these results inspire me to put in the effort to develop a cherishing attitude toward others, and to continue to develop compassion and equanimity. Some days are easier than others, but the real benefits and results I experience inspire me to continue.
Keith Hughs
Keith Hughes attends KMC Arizona
