I first encountered Kadampa Buddhism when I was 16 years old. I was full of hope and ambition. But I was also midway through a new and crippling challenge that had crept up on me and begun to ruin my life, social anxiety.

I came to meditation when I was in a very dark phase of my life. I didn’t realise it at the time, but I was experiencing high functioning depression and high functioning anxiety.

Two years ago, my husband suddenly told me he wanted to end our marriage. I was shocked, devastated, and lost – although deep in my heart, I also had wished to be free from this unhappy relationship for over half of our 18 year marriage.

In October 2022, my marriage had just ended, and I was regretful, confused, and feeling like I needed a life change. I’d dabbled with Buddhism a little in the past, just enough to know that meditation worked…

Life is not easy for anyone and we are not always taught in schools or by family how to deal with the mental and emotional suffering life can bring us.

There was nothing exceptional or unusual in my ‘hardships’ my dissatisfaction and difficulties seem very trivial compared with what was going on in the rest of the world at this time. But they were dissatisfactions and difficulties, nonetheless.

We talk about “living in the now,” but having cancer gave me this real opportunity — this knowledge that if you truly live in the now, you won’t experience the suffering of things that haven’t happened.

Grief had stolen my life. I first stepped into a Kadampa centre shortly after losing my mom to cancer. I was angry and intensely sad.

Throughout my life, there have been countless occasions where I’d go from being happy to being filled with frustration or anger in an instant. I’d feel horrible for getting angry and losing my cool; I told myself I’d be better next time…

I just couldn’t teach anymore. I thought a change of jobs would help me, and it did for a few months. But I was still the same me, a little stressed, tired and miserable…

No longer trusting my distorted, agitated states of mind (my delusions) to solve my problems and make myself happy, I began to rely on developing inner peace instead.

I started to suffer from insomnia. Worrying about not sleeping soon became a “runaway train” and soon was followed by general anxiety and depression.

Six years after we started with the Dharma (Buddhist meditation practice), Sandy was diagnosed with a rare and incurable autoimmune condition that resulted in periodic and progressive bouts of muscular degeneration.

As I navigate this confusing thirty-something singlehood, I am discovering that some Buddhist principles, learned at my meditation centre, offer profound wisdom and serenity.

Suddenly I could see that that this isn’t necessarily who I am, it’s just a thought I’m having. I could think different thoughts. In any moment, I have flexibility…