Finding relief from Anxiety
by Kim
Meditation Helped Me to Slow Down
In January 2022 I noticed a new meditation centre had opened in my locality and I decided to give it a try. At this time, my son was becoming a pre-teen, and my mind had a habit of fast-forwarding into his teenage years. Panic would set in: how was I going to be able to support him with his journey in life when I still felt like I was behaving like a reactive teenager who was managing a massive “to-do” list that never ended? I did not like to stop. I always had to be doing something so I could justify being myself…to myself. My foolish belief made me feel like I could get to the end of my never-ending “to do” list one day and I’d feel happier.
I knew deep in my heart that there must be a better way of living, where I could engage more and be less distracted in my life with things that, in the grand scheme, were not as important. I craved a better balance in my life: if I could achieve this, my hope was that it would have a ripple effect on my family and my wider circle.
Peace began to appear for me.
Before attending the centre, I had limited experience of meditation; I didn’t know what to expect. So, I started my journey and I began to attend weekly meditation and talks. After the first couple of weeks of my meditation journey, I began to notice the benefits both at home and in work. Rather than becoming overwhelmed by stressful tasks, positive solutions to ongoing challenges would arise effortlessly within my mind. Rather than the constant noise within my mind, peace began to appear for me as I was becoming familiar with settling my mind and allowing it to exist as it should, with a calm, spacious nature. It had always been there but due to getting swept away with the busy speed of life, I had buried it deep below my “important to-do list”, which always took precedence.
I started to notice that I was not overwhelmed in situations that may have overwhelmed me in the past. The meditations also helped me to identify what to begin to prioritize within my family life. I began to simplify my life, slow down and reserve my energy for meaningful activities. It felt as if a greater balance had been restored in my life simply by attending a weekly class; I began to think if I could incorporate these positive teachings into a regular routine, the possibilities would be endless.
Dharma, Buddha’s teachings, had given me a framework which allowed me to engage in the world with less resistance. I became ok with missing events and dealing with difficult situations. No longer did I feel solely responsible for other people’s happiness because I was learning that the only person truly responsible for my own happiness was me.
Daily meditation made a difference
After about 3 months of regular classes I created a daily meditation practice, which I could do at home. I started with 15 minutes of meditation in the morning and now I do a little bit more if my work/family schedule allows. My family and colleagues make comments about how they see the change in me since I began meditating as they find me more relaxed, calm, patient and tolerant.
When issues and disagreements arise, which they do, it doesn’t need to be an argument anymore. I now have the space and wisdom to respond to the challenge, rather than react and become defensive. Dharma has allowed me to realise that I can acknowledge and let go of things that are keeping me stuck. This has helped me let go of the idea that life just happens to me and allowed me to become a more conscious creator in my life.
I feel a great confidence
Over the last two years, I feel a greater confidence when I need to address issues with my children and colleagues. The fear and anxiety that may have surrounded me in those situations in the past has become a lot quieter. I find that using my breath in tricky situations allows me to return to a calm frame of mind; my breathing is a compass that helps me return to the peace that lives inside.
Finding Dharma has been truly life changing for me and I look forward to a lifetime of learning. Meditation practice is extremely inspiring and creates more positive mental energy when engaged with on a regular basis.
Kim attends Tara KMC in Ireland
